Have you ever felt like everything you do is centerd around what other people expect of you? Do you feel like you have a lot going on but not much of it is authentically you and something is missing? You’re not alone and I’m here to tell you, what you’re missing is YOU!
I’ve come to realize that every part of me was not provided in the box I was operating from. People have expectations of who they think you are, how you should be doing things, how you worship, how you talk, how you dress, how you act, what you should say, what you shouldn’t say, how LONG what you have to say is. It’s one big old BOX and we get stuck hitting one wall or another trying to FIT inside the box.
Once I realized I had to step out of the box to get to some things I needed in order to grow and expand, Chile….I stumbled upon MYSELF. Learned some things about myself. Learned to LOVE myself! Learned to appreciate my authentic self. She’s fearless, fun, and immensely deep. She’s bold, smart, and creative. She’s compassionate, loyal, loving, and empathetic. She’s silly, quirky, sometimes bratty, and sarcastic. She’s not perfect nor imperfect. She is ME and as I continue to evolve, I care less about what others think and more about being ready for what I want to materialize in my life. Less about what others think, and more about how good I AM getting at reflecting the God in me. I’m not for everyone…I’m FOR who I’m for. And I’m ready to see what’s out there FOR me.
The enlightenment behind stumbling upon more of me left me excited about how much MORE of me is there to discover. If I was going to collect myself, that meant I had to step out of several boxes. So I did!
I stepped out of the box that says, “divorce him if he’s not meeting my needs or expectations.” I found a piece of myself that said, “girl… You need some work yourself. You can’t expect him to make you happy if YOU aren’t happy” That part of me that holds a mirror up so I can check myself, before I throw in the towel and give up on others. I found a part of me that had more patience and understanding than the box offered. I found a part of me that said, “Your cup is empty, Sis! I’m responsible for making you happy and taking care of you so you can show others how to do it too. I keep your cup full so you have an overflow to contribute and reciprocate. You don’t have to get a DIVORCE to be better, do better, or have your needs met. Let me show you how to evolve, witness evolution, AND stay married.”
By the time I gathered more of myself as a wife… Partner, he was gathering more of himself as well and now WE have MORE of each other to love! Glad our endurance was already in the boxes! Whew, Chile! 😂
I stepped out of the parenting box that says, “you can’t be friends with your children”. I created a space for my teenage daughter to confide in me and have fun and found a whole means of discipline called “disappointed” that didn’t feel much like disciplining her at all. I Learned to choose my battles with her and found a whole friend in me AND her! Yelling became family conversations and her mildly rebellious tendacies turned into asking first, surprisingly. Probably just to determine if she was willing to suffer the consequences, but at least she put it on the radar!
I stepped out…more like was snatched out, of the corporate box that says, “if you get your degree, work hard, show your determination, you’ll go far and make top dollar”. I created an avenue for independent income and discovered the part of me that said, ” don’t you know you’re unstoppable!? Don’t you know that you have the capacity to create your own position and pay? Dont you know you already have resources you can leverage? Don’t you know you are already the CEO of your own destiny?!” Now that lane has evolved into an entire interstate that helped take us from a 2 bedroom apartment to a 5 bedroom home. The box had me crying for 3 months after being laid off, believing that we could not make it if I didn’t find a good paying job FAST. The part of me that I discovered when I stepped out of the unemployment line laughs at who I was without it. Bumbling about the confines of those box walls desiring things that wasn’t even in the box.
If it scares you, do it! There’s a part of you waiting on the other side of that fear EVERY TIME you encounter it. Silence the peanut gallery and get out there and meet the rest of yourself! There’s so much MORE of you outside the box! ❤️ What steps have you taken outside of the box? What did you discover about yourself that empowered you after you did it?